Wednesday 21 January 2015

Battles


I'm sorry I'm only just here...
I've logged on a dozen times..replying and reading occasionally, I just couldn't write.
I wanted to just the words weren't formed right on my head...and to be honest I'm a bit lost
I thought logging in would keep my feet in the water now I'm paddling with nowhere to go...
This post is asking a little on us and a lot on advice. ..
I know bloggers can give advice....geez I've seen loads of sexual help pages...but mine isn't sexual...
A bdsm lifestyle isn't all about sex surely. ..well our sex life isn't the issue...I'm not even sure if it is an actual issue or whether it's me and my mind is blowing everything out of proportion :/
My mind is a daily battle....me against my inner chimp...maybe that's why I feel like my submission is failing..

So advice....

I feel as though we're losing our way with our chosen lifestyle
Maybe our path is a bit murky or there's a wall down where we want to go....I don't know...
Metaphorically speaking we'd just jump over the wall and carry on but what happens if it wasn't the wall that was the problem in the first place and we were actually going the wrong way?
Too deep...
I'm sorry...anyway

We basically joined life's together in October and a few personal changes happened...We've got a young family...New arrangements. ..I get that life can get in the way of the things you want sometimes...
But October was nearly 5 months ago and I just don't feel like we're back on track....Our d/s lifestyle has gone..
I'm lost without guidance....I need submission in my life...It makes me feel normal....wanted....loved....needed...I want to earn my place...
We've spoken about it briefly....
He reckons it will come in time....I don't understand that. ..For me it's there to give...its waiting
I want to be patient. ...I want to understand where he is.
I love him completely and I am happy...extremely happy and I want us to work.

Which is why I'm here
I'm posting because I need some advice and this is where I hoped I'd find it

Thankyou

Parvelus X