Permission

I sometimes find it a bit tricky getting permission for things.
Not because he often says no - quite the reverse - because he almost always says yes.

And if it's no, however gracefully I try to hide my disappointment, if it's something I want then he wiggles things around until it can be a yes.

I'm not complaining AT ALL, it's one of his utterly endearing traits - how kind he is and how much he spoils me - at the same time I do find myself doubting if he really means it when he does say yes.

He's made it very clear that there are areas where he doesn't want strict control, where he doesn't want to micromanage - the rules are structured though.
Boy I love rules..Sometimes I forget but I love rules...

Of course the thing is, seeing as how he's enslaved me anyway, one thing I DO NOT WANT is to stray away from his preferences.

So sometimes it's tricky. I'll consult, I'll check, I'll be honest with what I've been thinking about and what I'd like to do... He ponders, he gives his seal of approval, he encourages...

And I'm left thinking - but do you, though? Do you really? Do you really mean yes? Or are you just saying yes because you want me to be happy?

Mind you, not that it really matters. If he wants to say yes to keep or make me happy then he has every right to do so and I have to accept that gracefully just as I have to try and gracefully accept any decision and any reason he has for it. In the end, he can manage me anyway he wishes, right?

Right.

And I do love how kind and encouraging and wonderful he is.

I suppose what I want, is assurance that he is pleased with me and by my tastes and decisions, that they are in line with his vision of what he wants - if he even has one.

I want to do everything to please Him and make him happy.